It's Official

Allow me to start by saying that I LOVE being home with Reagan.  It is the BEST decision Keith and I could have made for me to be home with her during her first year...I feel so blessed that I was able to do it.  I think back and hope that I truly enjoyed that time with Reagan as much as I could have and made the most out of everyday.  I'm not going to lie and say everyday was perfect, because it wasn't...there were days that I couldn't wait for Keith to get home, or I just wanted to go run errands and not work around naps or the diaper bag that needed to be filled with supplies before we went anywhere, but it was all TOTALLY worth it and wonderful.  In fact, I always thought I would be a stay at home mom.  I think growing up in a house with a stay at home mom you just kind of make that assumption that you will be too.  Sadly, with the economy being the way it is and our family circumstances, that isn't the case...

A little over a month ago the assistant principal at the school where I taught the year I was pregnant with Reagan, called me to talk to me about positions that would be open for the upcoming school year.  I was very flattered that she called me because we had never worked together, so she was going by hear-say.  She told me about a 4th and 5th grade position available and a math coach position.  I KNEW that I was not ready for a classroom position...I know how I am as a teacher and would be way too stressed out with that and wanting to get home to by baby as soon as I could!  The math coach position did sound very appealing though because I do really enjoy teaching math.  Once the new principal was hired, the beginning of July, I went in for an interview.  I went in with the mindset of "do the best you can" and "just be you."  If I got the job it was meant to be, if not then it wasn't.  The next night I recieved a phone call from the principal offering me the job.  WOW!!  NOW we had a decision on our hands...take the job or not.  On Friday I called thankful for the position, but saying I needed the weekend to talk it over with my husband and think about childcare options.  Talk about a stressful weekend!!  We went over our budget, played with numbers, I cried a lot, talked more about the pros and cons of the job, cried some more, and FINALLY made the decision for me to go back. 

We are still finalizing plans for Miss Reagan, but she will definitetly be staying at someone's home.  I have met with a couple stay at home moms and will meet with more tomorrow to find the best fit for Reagan!  I think daycares are great and work for a lot of families, but for us, we are wanting to go this route. 

I will be on a traditional calendar again and starting in mid-August, so each day I just cherish with my Reagan...I am, of course, soooo sad to be leaving her, but I have to keep telling myself this is what is best for our whole family.  I am TERRIFIED about missing something, some big milestone that I would have seen if I were home with her, but I just need to tell myself that I got to see so many...(I currently have tears streaming down my face...) 

I am so fortunate to have a job, to have it be a non-classroom job, for it to be a mile from our house, to be teaching again, and to have the "teacher schedule."  If you are a working mom and have any advice on how you manage everything, feel free to leave me some advice!  Everyday I mentally prepare myself bit by bit for this, exciting, but scary change in our life!