I know how lucky I am to stay at home with my kids...I tell myself over and over how lucky I am. I remember everyday how hard it was for me to leave Reagan when I went back to work, but there are some days, to be totally honest, I really wish I had a paying job. I wouldn't dare say just a "job" because I work my butt off everyday...as every mom (and dad) does. I have a husband that works so hard for our family everyday so that I am able to stay home, for that I am so thankful (although he drives me nuts sometimes!). I also do my best to keep things in perspective as to how lucky I am to have happy, healthy kids...I don't let that slip under my radar for a minute.
The last few days have just been challenging beyond words. I don't know why. Reagan is at this glorious age of pushing 3 1/2 and whoever said 3 is worse than 2 was TOTALLY right. My normally SO sweet little girl who wants to do no wrong is now pushing every button of mine under the sun. She still has her very sweet moments and is such a good girl, but HOLY have I been tested. I feel like I am yelling so much, which I hate...I really try to stay as calm as I can and TALK to her, but sometimes you just frieckin' can't take anymore. I hate it. Landon is 13 months and is a typical 13 month old and into it all! You can't turn your back on him for a minute, but he is just the sweetest and cutest thing. He has fallen off the steps in the garage (yes, onto the concrete floor), banged his head on the banister, fallen outside...giving me a daily heart attack pretty much! However, he can whine like no other and he literally wants whatever Reagan is playing with at ALL times. Reagan sometimes gets upsets, but other times just gives him whatever it is and moves on. Of course, there are tears involved in this process 99% of the time... Trivial I know, but it all adds up and piles on and AHHHHH!
Can you just HEAR the whinging in this picture?!
Tuesday was probably my breaking point. I had just kind of "had it." Reagan didn't nap, Landon was on and off napping, the house was DESTROYED, both were fussy...we played outside, we played inside, we played on the swingset...nothing was right. I kept looking at the clock and thinking...that's it?!?! You've GOT to be kidding me. Maybe it didn't help that I kept Reagan home from school on Monday (she had a slight cold over the weekend, or maybe it's just allergies, I don't know, but I didn't want it worse or to spread at school) or that we didn't leave the house on Tuesday!?! I don't know. It was just a yuck day. Thankfully Keith was able to come home in time for me to escape for Zumba that night...praise! That did help for sure!!
How appropriate of a face for this "phase"...
Good thing you're cute little girl!
Anyway, I just keep feeling like I'm doing something wrong here. Naptime (and bedtime) is one of my favorite times of the day, am I terrible for that?! I love my kids more than anything, obviously, but the quiet time is so nice. I read other blogs (which I just need to stop doing) and everything seems so hunky dorey for other moms...do they ever argue with their husband (about money)!? How do they get dressed, with makeup, EVERYDAY?! How are their houses clean all the time?! How are they always so perky!? How on earth do they have time to redecorate their houses 12 times a month?! How are they so involved with a million activities? How do they go out with friends 5 times a week?!?! How do they have THAT many friends?! Maybe it's just blogland...I should take a break ;) I'm guilty as charged too though...I don't blog about the oh so fun budget discussions or the nights the kids are up or how many times I have to tell Reagan to "EAT" during every frieckin' meal....it's the good stuff that you want to highlight. I get it!
Just my little venting of the moment...and I *only* have 2 kids!! I know you might be thinking "been there, done that" or "I'm in the same boat" or "when I have kids I will NEVER think this way" (ha!) How on earth did Michelle Duggar do it?!?!?!?!?!
We've had a good day today though! Keith is playing in a golf tournament today, rough day at the office, so the kiddos and I are going to venture to Panera for dinner. Yahoo!
The days may go slowly, but the years will go by quickly...I know that and need to find a cute printable of it on Pinterest :)
Amen to that one! I know I'm a good mom, but I ask myself the same questions all the time! Thanks for your honesty - since my 2 are exactly the same age, I can relate to every word!
ReplyDeleteSteph - where did you get those adorable yellow (matching) whale outfits for the kids? I want to look into that for next Easter.
ummmmm, HAVE YOU READ MY BLOG??? I will make you feel better about yourself DAILY. Seriously. You seem to have it all together and look cute with hair and makeup done and a fabulous dinner on the table.... so this post was oh-so-refreshing! We need a dinner/drink date... promise I will make you feel soooo much better about yourself!!!!!
ReplyDeletehahaha--- hang in there, girl!